Hi friends. It's been a hot second. Did you miss me? Well, even if you did, or you didn't welcome to the darn good leadership podcast. This show is all about being a strong and effective leader. One that creates positive impacts on your teams and communities. And this show you're going to get ideas and inspiration and practical advice. You can take action on to be a darn good leader. I'm your host, Emily Holting. And today we're talking about the O word. That's right. Overwhelmed. We've all experienced this feeling of being overwhelmed. It's just that some of us are better at dealing with it than others. So in this show, we will be talking about what to do when you feel overwhelmed and how you can take back control of your day and your head sound good. Before we dig in. I want you to think about the last time you actually felt overwhelmed. Was it last year. Last month. Last week. Or perhaps you're even feeling overwhelmed right now. Regardless. You're not alone. In fact. I'll raise my hand right here. And right now, And I'll share with you that I was feeling very overwhelmed at the beginning of the year. I was only two months into my new job. I was in the midst of this insane, crazy learning mode. Which you love it, but at the same time, it's an awful lot. I'm also getting married this summer. So my free time is really not free at all. And I have this podcast. Throw that in with the fact that I still want to have a nice social life and do things that are fun and exciting and have some downtime. And the fact that I'm a bit of a perfectionist and ding, ding, ding. I found myself feeling very overwhelmed. Now it's important to know that feeling overwhelmed in life and work is a common experience for any leader. It can be caused by having too many responsibilities, not delegating enough, having a tight deadline or having unclear or just unrealistic expectations set on you. So we're going to talk through six simple steps. You can take the next time you were feeling overwhelmed and this will help you take control of your thoughts. Your feelings. And your calendar. So here we go. The first step in dealing with being overwhelmed is to acknowledge it. Now, this might sound silly, but in order to properly deal with being overwhelmed. You have to first admit that you actually feel that way. Is essential to acknowledge this feeling and understand that it's a natural response to any stressful situation. I went about two months of grinning and bearing it for about as long as I possibly could until I found myself waking up consistently in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to bed because my brain was actually just on complete overload. Finally, I was like, yes, yes, fine. I will admit it. I feel overwhelmed. And I hate acknowledging it. I truly do. So I understand the pain for anybody. Who's like, I'm fine. I'm fine. I got this. We don't have this sometimes. And it's okay. So you just have to acknowledge that you got a lot going on that you're feeling a little overwhelmed and when you do that, and you can admit that to yourself, that's step one. Okay. All right. The second step in dealing with being overwhelmed is to take a step back and assess the situation. One approach that I particularly love and find very useful is to write down all of those things that I have in my head. So this is all those things that is waking me up in the middle of the night that I can't go back to bed, which means all the task concerns. The things that are haunting me, the responsibilities, get them all out of your head, get them on a piece of paper. If you're somebody who likes to get on your iPad and write them down or whatever it is for you, however you like to write. Get them down. For me, it's on a piece of paper. Like a total brain dump of everything has been bottled up and festering inside of you. And once you have it all out there, take a big breath. Breathe. And you can finally see exactly what you're dealing with. I also find that when I write it out, I'm miraculously able to sleep better because it's now out of my head. And again, no longer haunting me because it's like, yes, I hear you head. I've written it out. It's on this piece of paper. Please stop it. Now, let me go back to bed and get some rest. And it actually does work for me. Then read through and begin grouping what you've got written into categories that make sense for you. Once you've got your list and somewhat loosely grouped items. And you've read it over a couple of times. I want you to just think about the gravity of what's really there. Like what you specifically have to do and any high level timelines looming around them. And just give it like a very sensible assessment of, is this actually feasible? Right? Does this feel like if I were to comfortably stretch myself, I can do this. If your answer's. Yes. Okay, cool. If your answers like, um, hell no. Well that's okay, too, because again, this is part of the steps of assessing. What you can actually do by yourself. So for me, I listed out all those things in my head. I began grouping it and things that made sense for me. So this was what was work. What was wedding? What was podcasts? What was social family? Friends. And I knew for work. I had some hard dates and for my wedding, I certainly have a hard day that cannot be moved. And then for my podcast, I didn't really have hard dates, but I had some intentional goals for myself. I also had some things that I needed to do and had already made commitments to, for my friends and family. So when I stepped back and I looked at this list, I was like, Yeah. Um, this is not going to work. So, this is probably why it was keeping me up at night because I knew no matter how much of a superwoman I wanted to be. That this was not feasible. So this is where step three is going to come in. The third step in dealing with being overwhelmed. Is to prioritize the things that matter most. Now not going to lie. This is probably the hardest of the steps, but also the most critical to get right. Taking your list. And prioritizing based on importance and urgency is necessary. And so you're going to have to wait this for yourself, given you know, your work commitments, your family commitments, other commitments that you have in your life and what those hard deadlines are. You should also do yourself a little bit of a service here and break down any large items into smaller, more manageable ones. This allows them one, not to feel so scary and overwhelming, but it also gives you an opportunity to then delegate tasks to other people where possible. For every item I list out, I look at it and say, does this have a deadline that can't be moved? Yes, no. Is this actually a critical task that must get done? Yes, no. Or is this a nice to have? Yes. Now? And then once I've done that, then I identify what I personally have to do. Emily Holting or what potentially someone else could very well do if I either ask them to or train them up a little bit. Okay. For me with work much the stuff I needed to do in order for me to learn my new role and become properly onboarded. I just had to do myself. However, there were still things I was doing for work that either one were not a high priority. And I just been kind of like hanging on to them from things I used to do in my previous role. Or two, I realized that if I broke this thing down, there were actually people on my team that could help me and I could delegate to. And finally, there are also things that just were nice to haves. And I need this to finally go back and have conversations with my peer and my boss and say, Hey, I got to reset expectations here. This thing isn't going to get done this quarter. And this is why, cause I'm going to work on these much higher priority items that we all agree are things that have to get done and I'm going to execute on them. Meticulously, instead of trying to do everything all at once and doing a really crappy job, everybody hates that. All right. I hate that. The people who you're delivering to are going to hate that too. So you've got to prioritize in order deliver high value things. So as much as people don't want to don't want you to say no to them, they also don't want something crappy that you're going to give them whether that's. A crappy state of mind that why you're there, you're thinking of doing something else and you're really not even engaged or it's an actually thing that you're delivering and your output is crappy. So none of that is good. Prioritization is a must and it's key and you got to do it. So once I reset those expectations with my boss and my peers, and I figured out what my actual priorities were. And what would fall into the backlog for later or just nix altogether? And then for my wedding, as hands-on, as I love being, I realized that I needed help. So I hired a semi planner who would find all of my vendors for me. And essentially I told her my ideas and my budget, and she betted those vendors for me and would find one or two options for me to choose in each category. And this was awesome. This took all of, kind of the grunt work and the guesswork out of like trying to look through endless reviews and, and Pinterest feeds and Etsy feeds and all the other bridal who even knew kind of feeds that existed. So this was well worth. Having someone else do it. I also realized that as much as I love cooking, I find that many times cooking brings me so much joy that the stress of making dinners five times a week during the work week was also making me feel quite overwhelmed. So I decided to delegate that out as well to a meal delivery service that delivers healthy, delicious dinners three times a week. As for my podcast. Uh, there's no one else to really delegate that to, this is kind of a one woman show right now. Meaning the future. There will be an opportunity to do that, but this is just me and a microphone. So I had to make a tough choice and decided to give myself a break and give myself a month to get ahead of things. Get ahead of things for work. I had some traveling I need to do get ahead of things for my wedding stuff. I had to make some time for friends and family. And then reassess kind of look at it a month or so in and say, now, how do I feel? So last week I just got back from London and I'm finally feeling like I have the bandwidth to do this. And it's something I still love and enjoy, and it doesn't feel overwhelming for me to pick back up. So that's a positive thing. So. Just telling you, you got to, the prioritization piece is absolutely key to making this work. The fourth step in dealing with being overwhelmed is to practice positive self care. Now, when I say this, the reason I have to throw in that word, positive self care, you might be like, is that redundant? No, it's not. Because when I say self care, that could be misconstrued as eating copious amounts of junk food. Uh, drinking until one passes out, watching endless episodes on Netflix, doing things that are mindless and they might bring you instant gratification and relief. But it will certainly not make you feel less overwhelmed the next day. And in fact, it will only add to your anxiety and stress. So instead I'm saying to practice positive, positive is the key word here, positive self-care meaning you got to get good sleep. You got to read, you got to exercise, move your body. Meditate, eat well. Stay hydrated, listen to music, talk to, spend time with your family and friends love on your pet. All of these things are things are positive self care items, and these are things that can help reduce your stress levels and increase productivity. So prioritize them into your day as it makes sense for you. I mentioned a couple. Episodes back that had started up 75 hard, which has challenged that actually hits on self-improvement. Positive self-improvement and honestly holding myself accountable to those positive self improvement things. Actually really helps me feel less overwhelmed and feel like I can get all the other hump of that. When I am feeling those, those feelings of waking up in the middle of the night and all those things. So I definitely, as much as it feels, kind of like. Is this right? Do I need to be spending time here? Yes, you do. So give it a try. Put it into your practice and just see. I, I I'm guaranteeing you. It's going to feel so good. So put it into your time. The fifth step in dealing with being overwhelmed is to practice effective time management. Now I know this is like effective time management. What is it? You're going to hear this over and over again throughout your career. If you don't know how to manage your time, you are really screwed and I'm just going to spit it out there for you. And there's no sugarcoating. It. There are so much virtual work, global work working from home and all of those things are wonderful and beautiful and joyous. And I truly, it would be very hard for me to go back into the office every single day. But with that, you must find the discipline. To practice effective time management. And if you are not, you know, if you're good at this or not, and if you are not good at this. You've got to, you got to turn that around. You got to figure out something for yourself. Your execution of time management will make or break your day and it will help. Or hurt the way that you are feeling overwhelmed by work by life all together. So you got to figure this out. And one approach is to use time-blocking, which just involves allocating specific times for each task or responsibility in your schedule. Just get in your calendar and block out time for yourself. Do not feel selfish for that. Yes, people are going to come in and book meetings, but if, you know, you need a time block to either work on your own stuff or meet with other people. Make it happen, block it out. Another strategy is use the Pomodoro technique, which is where you work in focus time, and then you have time intervals and then you take regular breaks. You can also reduce your distractions, which I highly recommend turn off notifications where you don't need them. Turn off your slack. Instant messaging. Wherever those little pesky notifications come up, like your email alerts, get those notifications out of your face. There's no reason. Those need to be going off and the things that are truly important, I always let everybody know if it's urgent, call me. So if it's not, I will get to it when I get to it. But if you need me, then dial me. And I know if my phone is ringing and your name is there. Well, then I will pick up. Okay. Or if there's a reason I can't, then I'll get back to you as soon as I can. But you get my point limit your distractions. There are a couple of other things I do for effective time management. Here we go. I have a running backlog of my listed to dues that I review daily, actually have a JIRA backlog. What are my things in the next two weeks? And then I've got a lower tier backlog. That's like things in there. Are really nice to haves or like maybe one day. Maybe one day someone's mentioned to me it, and I put it in the backlog because I want to remember it so I can get it out of my inbox. Right. But I have this running list of backlogs in JIRA, but then I also keep a pad of paper. Yes. The paper thing is back for me. That's big for me. Cause I like to cross things out, but like the paper next to my desk, every single day, I'm writing down the list of things that I have to get done today. 100% cannot budge cannot move musket done. Then each week, I also take a look at my top list and I go through my calendar. I block out the time that I need to do to do my work and do not feel bad about that in order for you to deliver high quality things. You've got to reserve the time to do it and no, I'm not going to do it at one in the morning. I'm not doing that. That's not sustainable for me. If that's sustainable for you. And that's the kind of life you want to leave. Go for it. That's not me. I want to work life balance and I want to do high quality work and I'm going to use effective time management to do just that. I, uh, very much advise you to do the same. I will also limit my distractions. So I do not look at my cell phone during any meetings or time I block for myself to get stuff done. And I also try to front-load my work, because I know. As the day goes on. My motivation, my energy, my desire to do great work. It's going to dwindle as the day goes on. So if I'm like, oh man, I'm sure after work, I'll do I'll go run or whatever. It'll be that much harder. So I always do my Workouts early in the morning. And I try to get the thing that's super harder tedious. That's the first thing out the gate that I try to get done. And I try to get that done before noon. That's not every day that that happens. And then you just gotta get it done. But time management, if you are struggling You've got to find a way to crank it up a notch here. Okay. The six step and dealing with being overwhelmed is to communicate with others. When feeling overwhelmed, it is essential to communicate with others, including your family, team members, colleagues, supervisors. You can seek support or advice from them. Delegate tasks where possible reset expectations around priorities, or ask for an extension on a deadline if needed. For me. I like to go through my steps by myself first to get a sense of where I am. So what's the list. Categorize, it all figure out my things that I can do and figure out the things that I need help with and support with. And then from there where I need those, that support, that's where I'm going to now have a conversation with someone. Sometimes it's with my partner to say, Hey, um, I need you to help me this week with the dog. It's going to be a rough week for me. I need you there. Or sometimes it's with a team member to say, Hey, I I'm really needing someone to help me here. Do you have the bandwidth, the interest, whatever it might be. So get those conversations done with them. Once you have a better sense of what you actually need help. With the thing I want to express here is don't sit in your head on this alone. If you are truly feeling overwhelmed, share it with the people that are your support system. Share it and let them know specifically where you are asking for their support. Okay. Let's recap, the six steps in dealing with being overwhelmed. Number one, acknowledge it. Hi, I'm Emily. I feel overwhelmed. Great. Perfect. You did it. Number two, take a step back and assess the situation. Okay. Get it out of your head. Get it into a list. Understand what it is that you have to do. Take a step back, look at it and say, is this actually feasible? Can I do it alone? Where do I need support? Where do I need to say now? Number three prioritize. What are the things that have tight deadlines? What are the things that are critical? What are the things that are nice to have, what are the things that just don't even have to get done? Number four practice, positive self care. So you're going to get your good sleep. You're going to get good health and fitness and reading and pet your dog and do all the things that are going to make you feel better and not worse at the end of the day. Number five, you're going to practice time management and you're going to make sure that you get your calendar. Under control. And number six, you're going to communicate with others. So once you have a good understanding of where you are in your stuff and where you need support or where you need to reset expectations with people, you're going to have those conversations. That's it. And you are going to feel light years better. Once you practice these six steps. So, if you're feeling overwhelmed by work and life, this is a common experience for everyone. But you don't have to stay in that feeling and you don't need to bear it all alone. I worked through the six steps. So you can start to regain control of your head and your day. And see how much better you're going to feel. All right. I hope this episode helps you work through any feelings of overwhelm that you've been experiencing, and it gives you some ideas of how to get out of that rut. I'm so glad to be back. I'm glad to talk with you guys. I missed having these conversations. And I wish you all a wonderful, wonderful week ahead. So be bold, be bright. Be a leader who is not afraid to admit when they're overwhelmed and embraces the steps to get back at it. Cheers guys.