Hi, everyone. I hope you're doing well and welcome to the darn good leadership podcast. I'm your host, Emily halting. And today we'll, today's going to be a very different episode from what I typically do. Uh, as promised when I started this podcast has promised to myself and to my mission around doing it, um, I promise to share to be authentic. And. Allow the audience in, on the good and the bad and the lessons along the way around leadership. And. Um, that's what I plan to do. I wasn't honestly sure. If I was going to do an episode this week, because. it's been a week. But I realized maybe. Just maybe. This is exactly what someone out there also needs to hear. I'm talking about. Professional heartbreak. Now, what does that mean? Well, I think we can all relate to personal heartbreak, right? I've had two that have been very impactful to myself. And middle school, my grandmother who lived with us and essentially helped raise us. When she passed away and in high school, when my parents Both those events, rocked me to my core. I also just went and visited my best friend. And she's experiencing some personal heartbreak, as she just lost her bloodhound and dog of 10 years, Betsy Lou. So losing people, families breaking apart, losing pets, we have all likely experienced. Some version of this personal loss. Uh, professional heartbreak. Honestly, I didn't know, something like that. I could or whatever, feel. I mean, I've experienced professional things that suck. For sure. You know, like I haven't got that job. I was hoping for. Um, the program I was working on for one company shut down I've had projects fail. I've had performance reviews. I wasn't happy with I've had my company acquired. I've had coworkers leave. I felt the frustration. I felt annoyed. I felt anger. I felt bittersweet. Even sadness. But never. Never heartbreak. The economy. Is different. It's tough right now. And that is forcing so many companies to take a look at the new business realities and make. Impossibly incredibly hard business decisions. Some decisions are more painful than others. And because of this, I realized that maybe others out there are also experiencing professional heartbreak like me. So my hope with this episode is to share how I am coping. And perhaps it can provide some solace to someone else out there So here we go. If you are experiencing your own version of professional heartbreak. The first thing you need to do is to take care of yourself. This can be so much easier said than done, but it is critical. The visual that comes to mind for me on this is when you know you get on the airplane the flight attendant. Gets out and says the message that you hear every time before the plane takes off. If the air mass come down, you've got to put yours on first before you can help anyone else. Otherwise, you're no use to anyone, right? You can't help anyone. If you suddenly can't breathe. And this is true for professional heartbreak as well. If you aren't taking care of yourself. If you don't have your mind, right. Your emotional health and your physical health, right. Then you're no good to your coworkers. You're no good to your customers. No good to your family or anyone. You can only support and serve those around you. If you are in fact supporting and serving yourself first. So take walks, listen to music. Try to sleep Watch a funny show. Eat something healthy, delicious, nutritious for yourself. Also, you can have, you know, some wine or. Uh, treat here or there too. I'm not telling you, you can't do that. Break a sweat pet a dog. I've been petting my dog quite a bit. He's probably sick of me, but get outside. Take care of yourself and the way that you need and what are the things that bring you joy, whether that's going surfing or hiking. Or writing music. What is it that, typically fills your cup and do more of that? Try to be kind to yourself and weed out any of the negative talk that starts to kind of play in your head. But take time and do what you need to get in a better Headspace. And take care of The second thing. Is saline into your support system. This could be your coworkers, your past coworkers, your community, your family, your friends, all the above, but reach out to them and let them support you. You know, humans are not meant to be lone wolves. Humans are social beings that require community and connection. Effectively to thrive. Right. And don't get me wrong. We all need our alone time. But alone time and being alone are very different creatures. There's actually this reality TV show. it's called Which is an American survival competition series and it's on the history It follows 10 individuals and they're sent out into the wilderness. They're given very little amounts of survival equipment. And they're isolated from any other humans. for as long as they can remain out there and they can tap out at any time. But the contestant who remains out there the longest. Wins. A million dollars. And I've watched a couple of seasons and I've done that because I'm just like fascinated by these people who have the skills and the bravery and the ability to survive in the freaking wilderness alone. It's wild. They have zero food supplies. And so they have to fish and hunt and gather berries, or they just starved. And they're provided zero shelter. So. In freezing temperatures, incredible rain, snow. And when they have to either build a shelter or they're going to, face those elements. And there are literal grizzly bears and snakes and Bobcat's and moose and other crazy, dangerous creatures, just walking around next to them and they have to deal with that risk. And time and time again, you see these men and women. Who are doing all of these impossible things with their own hands and their smarts and their experience. And yet they end up tapping out. Not because they're starving, not because they're scared of the bears and not because they're freezing. Because there are lonely. loneliness. Is what makes them tap out. They misconnection, they miss their families and their friends. And I was thinking about that and they are capable of all these incredible things, but human connection is more vital and necessary to them. Then the million dollars that they would receive. So when you are experiencing heartbreak, You have to take care of yourself first. But you also have to realize that. You require a need more than just yourself. You need support from others. So don't try to bear it all alone. Lean into those support systems you have around you. Talk to them, hang out with them, hug them, cry with them, laugh with them. And let them lift The third thing is to remember. That your value is your security. I had, um, an individual this week, reach out to me and basically say, Emily. You know, what job, what industry do you think is the most stable and secure? Because I might. I might need to change career paths. I just need to do something that's stable. And here's how I think about that. As the world evolves. And needs change and what customers want change. And economy changes. There's no job or position or company that is going to be everlasting secure. There's nothing. That is a sure thing. But your value. Is, and your value can be your security. If you do good work. If you serve your teams and your customers? Well, If you create meaningful outcomes, if you're curious, And you take on being a lifelong learner. If you are open and willing to try new things and explore new tools and processes and opportunities. If you're willing to let go of those things that no longer serve you or your team or your customers. Then you are building security in yourself by being valuable. So whether your job remains. Or your job does not remain your value stays intact. Knowing your value makes you resilient. It allows you to become a shape shifter. Welcoming, new opportunities, pushing yourself into unexplored parts and versions that you never knew existed. Flexing new muscles and habits and becoming even stronger. In brighter than the version that you were before. The security has never been in the job. But the security can come from within yourself. The fourth thing. Is to be a Buffalo. So. What do I mean by this? Well last month, my niece I love so very much. Sent me a clip from Tik TOK. And it, of course is the latest dance craze and, Just awesome and lovely. And you know how tic-tac is you, you can't help, but keep scrolling for a little bit longer than you ever intended to. And as I'm scrolling, I come across this guy talking about buffaloes and leadership. And I'm like, what is the story? And after I listened to it, I had to go fact check it. Cause this is pretty cool. But what if this isn't real? And it was real. And I. Saw this a month ago, but I've been thinking about this clip nonstop. And so basically is something along the lines of this and it's in Colorado. That's one of the few places in the world where we have both buffaloes and cows that exist in close proximity it's easier to kind of compare apples to apples or buffaloes to cows in this instance. So when storms come cows do, what's kind of expected, I guess, a natural for them to do, which is they sense the storm and they try to run away And the problem is cows. If you've ever seen them, they are not fast. They're pretty slow. So the storm of course catches up with them. And without knowing any better, they continue to try to outrun the storm. But instead of outrunning it, the cows actually run along with it. And maximize the pain and frustration and experience that comes with. Running in a storm. And so when you observe instead of, but the buffaloes do they do something pretty unique and kind of cool. The buffaloes instead. See the storm and they turn and charge directly into it. They run at the storm. They run straight through it. And they minimize the pain and the time and the frustration that comes with being in a storm. So when we think about our professional life, there's going to be times that storms are going to come and we have zero control over that. And so when they come, the only thing that we do have control over is how you face that storm. So are you going to be a cow? And I don't mean to like that, but are you going to be a cow and try to outrun it and just end up. Going through that pain longer. Or do you want to be like a Buffalo and just face it head-on run right in and work through that pain. So you can get to the other side faster. For me, I want to be a Buffalo. I don't want to face that storm. Head-on. The last thing, um, I want to leave you with a, I think is the most important. Is. To have hope. If you look throughout history. Humans are capable of enduring. The most incredible things. And typically they are able to do that because they remain hopeful. There's a quote that I love and I will read it to you. Now. It goes like this. Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there's no actual magic in it. But when you know what you hope for most and you hold it like a light within you. You can make things happen almost like magic. So one of my bosses has always said two things can be true. And right now, I feel more than ever that two things are true for I am heartbroken. But I am hopeful. Uh, life is full of constant change. The professional work environment. His definitely full of constant change. And every change brings both loss. And potential. Some change has minor loss. And major potential. And some change has harder loss. And it's much harder to see the potential. But the potential is there. It's just waiting to be realized and. When it is, realize something shinier. And brighter looms in the distance. I ask you to in this moment, if you are experiencing professional heartbreak, Take care of yourself, lean into your support system. No that your value is your security. Try to be a Buffalo. And continue to have hope for the future. That's what I have for you today. If you find yourself in professional heartbreak. No, you have understanding and support from me. Be bold. Be bright. Be a leader who is a goddamn Buffalo and faces that storm. So you can embrace the sunshine even faster. Until next time.