Why? Hello there. Thanks for being here and welcome to the darn good leadership podcast. This show is all about being a strong and effective leader. One that can make positive impacts on your teams and communities. And the next 20 minutes or less. You're going to get ideas, inspiration and practical advice. You can take action on to be a darn good leader. I am your host, Emily halting. I'm so glad you've tuned in today because today we are discussing how to find and foster your very own personal leadership style. Now, when I say personal leadership style, I do mean personal. So this is not your company or your community or your team style, but this is about how you as an individual show up and lead. And when I say style, I'm not talking about your values. I'm not talking about your looks. This is what leadership image you were putting out into the world. So when people think about you as a leader, What are the common words or thoughts that come to their mind? And more importantly, what common words or thoughts do you want people to associate with you when they think about you as a leader? Any employee I have ever had. I always talk about something called personal brand. And the importance of taking ownership and the driver's seat on being intentional with the brand you are creating in your workplace. And last week's episode, I talked about how no one will ever be more interested in your own career and your growth in yourself. And this episode is no different about personal leadership style and brand Because no one will ever be more interested and vested in crafting your brand and leadership style than you. So today we are working through an exercise to help you brainstorm on your personal leadership style and hopefully start fostering that style using the three word method. But first a story. So I've talked about my nieces before on this podcast and how much I adore and love them. And I had one of my nieces texts me the other day and ask, Hey, aunt Emmy, what are your three words for your personal style? And I read it and I really wasn't quite sure exactly what she was asking. So it kind of was thinking like there's probably something happening in the world of. Her school or Tik TOK or Instagram that is, bringing on this question and I was correct. So I asked her to elaborate and she sent me a link to this lovely woman on you guessed it. Tic-tac. Her name is Alison Barnstead and she is an NYC fashion stylist who is known for helping people find their. Personal style, but style here, I'm not talking about leadership. I'm talking about looks fashion and clothing. And she is Tik TOK famous through using something she refers to as the three word method. Which is essentially choosing three adjectives to describe your current fashion style and or the style you aspire to have her method and explanation is pretty fantastic. So if you're interested in viewing and learning more. I will 100% link that in the show notes. So you can find her. But she describes how finding your three words about your fashion and your style. Allows you to better hone your personal wardrobe, makes it easier to get dressed and buy things. And allows you to be more thoughtful in how you present yourself to the world. She gave some great examples of well-known figures using this three word approach. And I thought I'd share those with you because I think it really helps solidify what she's talking about. So for example, Rihanna, you know, the pop star Rihanna, her three words for her personal style are. Tough sexy and sporty. Princess Diana, her three words are sporty, demure and opulence. Jimi Hendrix is ornate, daring and Bohemian. So Alison, the crater has you find your personal style and your three words by looking at your closet first for the things you consistently wear. And then my looking at those items, she started to think about what are the words that describe them best. And you also think about what is your dream style and the words that best described that. Or who are your style icons and the words that describe them. So as I was watching her videos, I couldn't help. But think about, could we flip the script? And use her same approach. To help people not find their personal fashion style. But to help them find their personal leadership style. My thought. Y. Yes. Yes. We most certainly can. And I have gone through this exercise myself, and that is exactly what I plan to do with each of you in today's show. It's very easy to show up to work without being intentional on your brand and your leadership style. Let's say you have a quick phone call or a zoom meeting or an in-person meaning you send off emails, you respond on slack. You go to a work happy hour, you post something on LinkedIn. You present yourself in a meeting, you have a one-on-one with your boss, you put together a presentation. How thoughtful are you in what you are doing in your actions and the way that you're showing up. It's pretty easy to just go through the motions and get lost in that. But whether you mean to or not, there is likely a common thread in how you are showing up. And the words people will use to describe you. Well, imagine the immense positive impact there would be. If you did start being a little more intentional about this. So if you take the time to think through and understand what you do want to display, how you do want to show up what words you do want associated with you in the way you work and your leadership This is the power and the simplicity of this three word method. Choosing three adjectives to drive your current leadership style or the style you aspire to achieve. So let's remind ourselves of what an adjective is just in case you need it. Not saying you do, but I think it's a good reminder. An adjective describes or modifies a noun. And announ here is you as the leader. So, which three words do you want to be most known for in your leadership style? Just as Alison the creator on Tik TOK, she gave some examples of how well-known figures and their fashion style words. I thought I would do the same with some well-known figures and leaders and their words to help you understand this process. Okay. So let's think about some leaders that we all know very well and here we go. Steve jobs. So many people describe him as visionary genius and a whole. All right. Leader number two, Oprah Winfrey. People most commonly describe her as generous. Motivational and the loved. Martin Luther king Jr. He's described as brave. Inspirational and determined. And then we have queen Elizabeth. She's described as steadfast, constant and dutiful. Now that you've gotten some examples. I want to walk through the four steps. So you can find your three words that you aspire to become and to be associated with. Okay. Step number one. Think about your current leadership style? What are the regular things that come to mind, both good and bad. When you think about how you are currently showing up. You gotta be honest. So if you're always hitting your deadlines and doing great work, maybe you could write down words like timely, consistent, dependable. Maybe you have a horrible habit of always interrupting or always having to have the last word. So you might write down words like domineering or a lot of supports in the room. But think about what words you would use, articulate your current leader, adjectives and write them down the good and the bad. Moving on to step number two. I want you to think about feedback you've received from others. This could be ad hoc through 360 or performance reviews during retrospectives feedback you've been given from your boss or your peers, but are there any common words that you typically hear about yourself from others? Not what you think they think, but what you have actually heard. Write those words down and then ask yourself, do you like these words? Why, or why not? Early in my career. A common word I would always get from people describing me was. Nice. Now, some of you might think Emily that's great. I like that word, but for me, I didn't. I am from the Midwest so that nice Midwestern girl was always kind of put on me. But for the business place, I just felt that that word. Implied something I didn't like it implied maybe that I'm more weak or more timid or more of a pushover than everyone else. And I didn't like that. And don't get me wrong. I would prefer nice over a whole. But nice didn't feel strong enough for what I was hoping to convey. I don't want to be nice. I want to be respected. I want to be inspirational. I want to be trusted. I want to be competent. I'm going to be constructed. Maybe even polite, but nice. I didn't like what that said about me as a leader, especially if that's one of the first three words that people are describing me as I didn't like that. And so I knew. That I needed to change the way that I was showing up. To the world, to the workplace, to my meetings and with the people I interact with. So I made a note of ensuring I did just that. As another example, I've had an employee who everyone thought and still thinks to this day is the best part of someone's day. He is the absolute epitome of that. So when people meet with them, they work with them. They're like, my gosh, you've made my day. You made my morning. You turn my day around. You made me smile. You made me laugh. and he was told this repeatedly by many people. So to me that would be a word or a phrase that I personally would never want to see him lose and him to continue to lean into and show up that way to the world. Now this is on him and what he wants for his style. But again, you might hear things that you like or things that you don't and you figure out what feels good in the way that you want to show up. So think about your common feedback. What you've gotten about yourself at work, write them down. And determine which ones you like and which ones? Not so much. Step number three. Think about leaders you look up to and why? What words come to mind when you think about them? And whose leadership style do you admire? What do you like about their style? Is it their attitude? Is that their abilities? Is it the way they make you feel or others feel or the way they present themselves? But once you have an idea of what it is that you like, ask yourself, if you can make this word work for your own style, does it fit with who you are or who you want to become? So, for example, there's a leader that I really admire that I've worked with. And I would describe one of his words as bullish. And that's not a word though. That I think fits with my style, not of who I am or who I want to become, but it works for this person. So bullish and the other words that kind of round him out as a leader, work for me, not so much, but you want to have this word. If you choose someone from a leader that you admire, you want it to be a north star for you. So, as an example, Mel Robbins is a person that I really admire as a leader. And I kept gravitating to her content and her words. And. So I was thinking through what is it about her leadership that feels authentic to me. And who I am as a leader. And could I use any of that as a north star for myself? So make a list of the leaders you admire, write down what you like and why, and then circle any words that feel authentic to who you are. Step number four. Now we're going to start honing in on the brand install you personally wants. So you're going to take those three lists, the first list of how you see yourself. The second list, the feedback you've received from others about yourself and the third, the list of leaders that you look up to admire, and the words that actually feel authentic to you, that you circled. Take those three lists and start to drill into the words that feel right for who you are and who you want to become, what feels authentic, what feels inspiring, what feels good when you put those words together as Alison, the crater and Tik TOK stated in her videos, these three words are not meant to force you into a box. Okay. It's more about leaning in and leveraging these three words when you're feeling stuck or uninspired, or you need guidance in your own leadership and these words. Can and will evolve as you do. So when you've got a new role or a new position, or you start at a new direction or you have new challenges. You might find that a word is no longer serving you or there's a one that better suits you moving forward. Okay, so these can change. The cool thing is that these words are all about you. So what these words mean to you may not mean what they mean to me and that's okay. It's all about creating a leadership style that feels authentic and balanced for you. So make it feel genuine and make it feel unique. And that's all that really matters. In the spirit of sharing, I will share my three words with you guys. My first word is bold. Being a bold leader to me means you have a clear vision and a direction and purpose. And you're channeling bold ideas, opinions, and actions to motivate, inspire, and guide others towards a greater good. Bold leadership means taking risk, challenging status quo, being driven by results, empowering others to succeed. Champion change. And leading by example. So the word bold to me is something that I always saw in myself. So this comes from list. Number one, it was something that I saw in the way that I was showing up. So it's how I perceived myself. And it's something that I want to continue to foster and develop throughout my career. So first word bolt. My second word is bright. And I see the word bright for me, meaning two different things. Bright as number one, being a north star, kind of a constant inspiration for people. And number two, being bright as in competent, confident and equipped to lead. So the ability to use knowledge and experience to lead people into being the best version of themselves in the workplace. And this word has come from feedback that I've received in various forms from my peers. My bosses. My employees and I kind of put all these words together and found that the word bright really encompassed that for me. I felt like it was super authentic and something I also want to consistently strive towards. So second word is bright. So the words bold and bright, if you've been an avid listener of the darn good leadership podcast. These are actually two words that shouldn't surprise you because I always end each episode by saying, be bold. Be brights. And these words really have always resonated with me and are something I actively want to strive to put out and show up to in the world. My third word is realistic. Optimist. Which means not complaining, but being able to believe that you can create a positive outcome in any situation, if you put in the right effort. So one of the words that I've been associated with for me has been optimistic. And I've also gotten the feedback that as a leader, Kind of dangerous to be overly optimistic, but I also wanted that balance because I didn't want to lose the hopefulness and the positivity in the way that I lead. That feels true and genuine for me. But I do understand the danger of being overly optimistic and that can be really unproductive to believe that challenges will magically disappear or goals will be manifested without actually taking real action in the world. However, I came up with this word. But also examining a leader. I admire who I mentioned previously, Mel Robbins. And I found this was a term that was commonly used to describe her. And one that I also want to evolve more into. So combining a positive attitude, with an honest evaluation of the challenges you're going to meet along the way, and also imagining what the outcome would look like and imagining the steps you will take to overcome those challenges. So there you have it by evaluating my own leadership myself. By thinking through the feedback I've received from others around my leadership in the way I show up. And identifying leaders. I admire. I have found my three words. Bold bright, realistic optimist. Those are my words. But what are yours? Leadership style is very personal. And it's so important because once you know who you are, And what you like. You can use these three words to help you craft a genuine style to you. And you can use these three words as a mental checklist for how you bring yourself and present yourself to your meetings, your work, and your interactions with others. It also can force you a little bit to inspect, reflect, and adjust. So using those three words, almost as a mini retrospective of the way that you are showing up. That is what I have for you today. What did you think of this three word leadership method? I hope I got you thinking about how you view yourself, how others might potentially view you. And brainstorming about what leaders inspire you. So you too can identify which leadership words best fit your style. If you come up with your three words, I would love to know what you landed on. Being, it's also the season of gratitude. I wanted to take a moment to express how grateful I am for each and every one of you. And express my sincere appreciation for your time and support. Okay, so here we go. I'm going to leave you with two of my words. Be bold. B brights. Be a leader who is intentional. With who you are and how you show up to this world. Cheers.